what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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