"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
