He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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