Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
