You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
