remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
