dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
