problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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