They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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