It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just cropdusted the office
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
