We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I didn't notice because vodka
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I am naked and annoyed.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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