Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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