She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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