I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
