Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
