I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
she told me i tasted like america
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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