The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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