Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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