Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
