You made me cry and you don't even care
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
