Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
