Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Randomize
