Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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