Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
