I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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