I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
