your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
