It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
