So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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