i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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