he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
