but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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