How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Randomize
