I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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