I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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