she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
