i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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