I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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