you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
