we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Swine flu is the new snow day.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
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Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
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An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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