is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
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he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
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Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
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