She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
