I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
