Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
