my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
What a dumb baby whore.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
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