They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
