I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
