There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
