the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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