i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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