It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
sex in a hospital.. check
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
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