brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Your penis caused this!
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