why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
