do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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