I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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