He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
