Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
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