Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
