I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
