Dignity is for republicans.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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