i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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