I wanna passion pit in your ass
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
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I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
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God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
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