I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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