In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
